What we can learn from resilient (fictional) adoptees

It’s literary criticism mixed with psychological analysis today. Therapist/writer Corie Skolnick and I have been talking about adoption fog in adoptees, first families and adoptive parents–trying to understand where the fog comes from and how to emerge from it.

In yesterday’s conversation, we learned an important lesson:

The Root of Reunion Resistance = FEAR

I’m just an armchair blogger psychologist, but I want to understand more about how adoptees can learn to cope with their loss, and thrive in spite of it.

Imagination and creativity can be effective outlets for adoptees

Laura – We’ve been talking about how fear is the primary reason that people are resistant to change; resistant to adoption reunion. But today I want to get back to the heart of the matter: the adoptee, who is (or at least should be) at the center of all of this. I want to look at how you portrayed adoption fog in your novel, ORFAN.

The Jimmy Deane (JD for short) character in ORFAN is what you’ve called the quintessential resilient adoptee. JD’s adoption fog runs deep, but luckily, he has several creative and artistic outlets for his grief and loss. And, he has quite an active imagination. Some might call it psychosis, but that’s a discussion for another day.

It’s clear that JD’s art and music serve not just as coping mechanisms, but as saving grace for survival and eventually, healing.

Psychology analyst Linda Carter talks a lot about imagination in psychology. She was interested in mother/infant relationships, attachment, the intersection of art and analytics … and my personal favorite: Jungian psychology.

Can you talk a little bit more about Carter and imagination as a coping mechanism?

Corie — Thank you so much for asking this question! Nobody ever asks me about the literary or psychological influences in ORFAN!

Yes, I did have some lofty aspirations for ORFAN as a “psychological literary work of fiction.” I spent a lot of time, a LOT of time, trying to weave amusing allusions to great literary works into a kind of modern Dickensian social critique with a heavy emphasis on the psychological principles known about the injuries related to familial disruption.

So, yeah… exactly what you said… “mother/infant relationships, attachment, the intersection of art and analytics … and my personal favorite: Jungian psychology.”

Laura – Adoptees and orphans show up all over classic literature. Even orphaned Jane Eyre lived with her cruel aunt and cousins. I’m loathe to raise my blood pressure go there, but even popular books have adoptees, such as I’m-effed-up-because-I’m-adopted Christian Grey from the Fifty Shades series.

Definitely, ORFAN is much, much more nuanced and creative than EL James’ simplistic heavy-handedness. I want to understand more about the psychological influences of your writing.

Orphan stories in classic literature

Corie – Except, I wasn’t thinking so much about Jung as I was Freud.

Did you know that Sigmund Freud’s favorite novel was said to be Dickens’ David Copperfield?–certainly one of the most important “orphan” stories in all of literature.

Freud said that he loved Dickens’ eighth novel because

The characters are individualized; they are sinful without being abominable.

And, of course this was Dickens’ most autobiographical work and isn’t David Copperfield practically synonymous with the word “orphan”? The whole “sinful without being abominable” thing was definitely something I strived for in the characterizations in ORFAN. That’s not even subtle is it?

It’s a little embarrassing to admit this now, but, I set out to write THE twenty-first century’s “orphan” story. When ORFAN first came out, the publisher booked me to do a lot of talks and readings for creative writing programs at colleges and universities. Guess what? Nobody got those hard polished references, and I mean nobody, not even the grad students from Comparative Literature programs. So I took to calling that talk, “What a Big Effing Waste of Time That Was!”

So much for the intersection of art and analytics, at least as far as my little story goes.

People may not understand the literary references, but most people do key into the fundamental truth that art can save us. Who cares in the end if people know that T.S. Eliot was a sad little boy who spent his sickly, sad childhood reading Mark Twain? (By the way, the five “books” in ORFAN roughly parallel the five “books” in Eliot’s epic poem, The Wasteland, which in turn borrowed stylistically from some of Dickens’ quirkier dialogue, but, oh well. Just fyi.)

The important lesson I think, is that art is a completely necessary element in a sane and civilized society and that its power is curative even to one as bereft as our young Jimmy Deane. Carter [JD’s adoptive father] unknowingly left JD the means to his psychological survival by leaving behind his drums and his love of music and the silly poster of James Dean on the back of Jimmy’s bedroom door.

Susie [JD’s adoptive mother] left her own legacy in her love of reading and the knowledge of the library. A child with an imagination can survive almost anything. That’s a very simple truth and THAT I think most readers understand at a very intuitive even personal level.

But, you know something? I have NO idea who Linda Carter is. I thought Linda Carter was Wonder Woman… so, what do I know?

Laura – Ahhhh … I may have just accidentally out psych’ed the psychology instructor. But, thanks so much to Corie for all of her incredible insight. I’m sure we’ll see more of her when her work-in-progress, America’s Most Wanted comes out later this year (hint, hint Corie).

*  *  *  *  *

If you missed any of our Adoption Fog Series check them out here …

• Part 1: Adoption Reunion and Resistance to Change
• Part 2: Clearing the Adoption Fog = Change. Deal with it.
• Part 3: AP Resistance to Search and Reunion
• Part 4: Existentialism and Navigating OUT of the Adoption Fog
• Part 5: What’s Behind Resistance to Reunion–Adoption Fog Series
• Part 6: TODAY … What we can learn from resilient (fictional) adoptees

Corie’s amazing book, ORFAN, is available on Amazon. Buy it today!

About Corie Skolnick – Born in Oak Park, Illinois, and raised on Chicago’s south side, Corie Skolnick has lived her entire adult life in Southern California. She is a California licensed marriage and family therapist and a “sometimes” university psychology instructor.

image from freedigitalphotos.net, KROMKRATHOG