Different Rules, Same Play-Date
In my house, some rules are non-negotiable … when you come home, you take your shoes off and you wash your hands. Yes, with soap.
What with my kids’ recent obsession desire to have as many play-dates as possible, I’ve had to pick my battles and adjust my expectations.
Photo credit: “Kids Blocks With Play Time” by Stuart Miles from freedigitalphotos.net
As I mentioned last week in my post about the different dressing expectations between Serbia and the US, my children are generally perceived as dangerously close to contracting pneumonia underdressed.
But, as much as I make fun of these perceptions, the truth is, I wouldn’t want other parents to think that I don’t properly care for their kid. Which means different rules depending upon the child’s ethnicity.
And when it comes to play-dates with kids who live in Serbia*, I do not fool around.
“Electric Hair Dryer” by John Kasawa from freedigitalphotos.net
1. Always blow-dry wet hair. No exceptions.
[Assumed purpose: I believe the idea is that wet hair makes you sick.]
Since we always put up a pool in the summer, swimming is inevitably Fun Activity #1. Afterward, I always blow-dry the children’s hair.
But I let my own daughter not only run around with wet hair, she even goes to bed with it. Ohhh the humanity!
2. Always remove a wet bathing suit. Immediately.
[From what I've gathered, and I may be wrong here, wet bathing suits are perceived to cause urinary tract infections and possibly infertility. I would say it's more likely to cause itchiness, irritation (and worse) in the netherregions, but that's just me.]
Accordingly, I insist my kids friends change their wet clothes.
But it’s totally fine for my kids to “air dry,” unless they’re done swimming and are ready to sit on furniture in my house. Because that’s how I roll.
3. In general, no wet clothes on the body.
[I believe it's considered to cause a cold, death, and worse.]
If a little friend accompanies us out-and-about, I always change the child’s sweaty shirt into the clean, dry one. I even dry the kid’s hair using the blow dryer that each-and-every play area (igraonica) in Belgrade provides. Because a child must not leave the indoor play area wet in any way, shape or form.
But now that they’re potty trained, I don’t carry around an extra set of clothes for either of my kids.
Barefoot with wet hair, sitting on top of the house. But hey, at least the roof isn’t concrete!
4. Go barefoot only while swimming or showering, or in extremely hot weather. And even then, use caution.
[Why? Barefooted-ness is perceived to cause cold, stomach cold, urinary tract infections, infertility.]
Unless it is s-u-p-e-r hot outside and swimming is involved, I don’t let my kids’ friends run around barefoot. (Slippers are always brought to playdates, so the child has the ones she likes … since she is required to have her feet covered at. all. times.)
But my kids are pretty much barefoot … the entire summer. And into fall …
5. Never sit on concrete. Ever.
[See reasons for #4]
I won’t let my kids’ friends sit on the concrete-tiled terrace outside my apartment.
But my kids can roll around on the ground until they are scraped, dirty and exhausted.
I try to have respect for other parents’ rules, and wouldn’t want parents to worry that I’m not properly caring for their kid when I’m “in charge.” Whatever that means.
* Note: All these rules apply … unless my kids’ friend doesn’t live in Serbia.
I got pneumonia the last week during my year in Japan. They wouldn't let me take a shower or wash my hair for TEN DAYS because the hospital medical personnel didn't want to exacerbate my condition.
P. U.
Love your double standard!! What about drinking cold drinks from the fridge? And for heaven’s sake no more than 3 ice cubes even for adults.
Oh yes … That's totally right — I forgot! No cold drinks for children who are guests!!!! There are so many rules, luckily at least I *know* what they are
Wow. That's so much to keep up with. I don't know how you do it, really.
Pretty amazing.
When I visited Korea, I was told that sleeping in a room with a fan turned on can cause death. I did. It didn't.
Here in St Tropez ice cream gives you a sore throat. So far I feel fine.
Oh yes! Cold ice cream, that's another one — here some parents make their kids wait, staring at their ice cream, for a couple of minutes for it to "not be so cold," … yes cold ice cream gives you a sore throat! I didn't realize that was a French thing, too!
As a father of a 5 years old I'm struggling a bit as he is starting to go on play dates, specially about what kind of food he will get.
When in my house, I can control what I will give them, but how to avoid to get him back loaded with "sugar" bombs and bouncy for the next 5 hours ?
Olivier,
Thanks so much for commenting … there's not much that can be done, except hosting play-dates at your house (and then letting the parents subtly know your values when it comes to sugar when they come to pick the child up "Oh, we only ate healthy snacks today, and your kid did great! that type of thing) and instilling in your own kid that he should limit himself to x-number of candies, and that you plan to ask the parent if he lived up to this. Of course, you ought to know that your kid probably won't remember, but it's a good learning opportunity for him to instill personal responsibility.
Laura
Cold, UTI, and then infertility….Except for the UTI, I guess my Mom must have let me do all the don't's too! hehehehe…..But seriously though, I know how tricky playdates are. Honestly, they stress me out and I would rather not host.
And of course none of the children or adolescents are required to wear helmets on scooters, bicycles, rollerblades, etc…. So it's fine to risk cracking a head open but not okay to risk catching a "draft" as they call it from a wet head.
Hi, I'm new here. You must have linked to one of my blogs. Anyway, I'm laughing. Three of my boys are adopted from Serbia. With my second son, Asher, I brought him yogurt every day for our visits. The nurse in the institution would first have it sit on the hot radiator to warm up because had a 'sensitive throat" and didn't tolerate cold things very well. (What he HAD were tonsils that were OVERLAPPING and he had trouble swallowing pretty much anything which is why at 7 years old he weighted a whopping 23 lbs!) And the death wind…OH the death wind that will kill a child if (heaven forbid) they sit on the floor and play.
Interesting. I always remove wet bathing suits.
It’s really good to know about that some facts and other points given here are quite considerable and to the point as well, would be so far better idea to look for more of that kind.