3 Mommy Things I Wished for When Moving Abroad

It was almost the end of the world today, and since we all survived, I thought I use this post to reflect a bit. … Before our move to Serbia in mid-2010, I had a toddler and a newborn. I was overwhelmed and sleep-deprived. Duh.

When my husband and I envisioned what our lives would look like for the next five years—him working and commuting in LA traffic for hours on end, me alone with the kids all day—we cried decided a drastic change was necessary. [Of course there were other reasons, too, but this is a blog post not a book.]

We wanted to simplify our lives, we wanted to be closer to Misha’s parents. We wanted to not be stressed all the time. But things don’t always work out exactly the way we want, or expect.

Here are just a few things I wished for when moving abroad … and how they turned out in reality.

1. Healthier kids

I wanted my children to drink less juice, eat fewer snacks, watch less TV, and in general be less a part of American consumer-culture.

How things turned out: Thumbs-up. They eat a variety of foods, but I suspect my American mommy friends might be appalled at how much meat my children consume. I do cook lean meat, and with my knock-off Crock Pot, healthy stews have never been easier! I know, I’m like an infomercial for slow cookers. Whatever.

They don’t watch much TV. They love to visit the toy store just like every other kid, but know that most times, they’re not going to get to buy something.

2. More one-on-one time with each of my kids

Before we moved, I really felt guilty for not having more time to teach Danica her letters and how to read.

How things turned out: When we got here, I did have more time, but I had to kind of force her to learn her (Latin) letters. But reading? Um, not so much. Turns out, she does not like to answer me aloud, which means that “sounding it out” is pretty much out-of-the question. I suspect it’s a mother-daughter thing, because she likes to be quizzed by others.

I recently asked a friend to teach her Cyrillic letters, and Danica soaks up the attention. Serbian is a “one letter-one sound” language, meaning it’s completely phonetic. So reading is super easy.

 

3. Learn Serbian

I envisioned my children and I learning Serbian together, and I would stop feeling so left out because I had no idea what everyone was saying all the time.

How things tuned out: We do understand and speak Serbian, but Danica much, much better than I.

Also, I discovered that what people are talking about is generally super boring, and it’s just as well that I tune out (or at least appear to, and listen for my name, or for gossipy gossip. I am a woman, after all.)

*  *  *  *  *

The challenge will come in the New Year as we contemplate our move back the US. How will we continue these improvements in our lives? How will we keep our stress down and consumerization out? How will I ensure my kids retain their Serbian language?

I don’t have the all answers, yet, but I feel I do have more of an open mind about dealing with change … compared with my first few expat months. Good job, Mommy.